Thursday, August 11, 2011

I Don't Understand!!

I don't even now where to begin. Today we received conformation that I am no longer pregnant.... I miscarried at exactly 7 weeks. We are beyond SAD!! We never in a million years thought we would have to go through something as awful as a miscarriage. We were so excited for Logan to be a big brother and be expanding our family. Now that will not be happening. I know everything happens for a reason and this just must not have been meant to be. I just wish there was something I could have done to prevent it { even though I know there really is nothing we could have done differently}. I just want my baby back! I know it was still early in my pregnancy, but we fell in love as soon as we saw those two lines.

The past couple of days have been the worst days of my life! I now know what so many other women have had to experience and I can honestly say it is the worst feeling EVER to lose a child. I now know the pain and it is awful!!! I am so grateful for the sweet little boy I already have that is healthy and happy. I don't think I would be able to handle this whole situation the way I am without him. He gives me hope that it is possible to have a healthy baby and that things will work out in the end. We will get our healthy baby again someday {soon I hope}.

I am also so lucky to have such great family and friends that have been great especially my husband!!! He has been there when I just needed to cry and to hold my hand. Even if we don't is so comforting just having him near me. I know he is hurting too!! I am so glad we have each other. I would be lost without him!!

Now, We are just taking time relax and spend time just the three of us as a family. It is the best way I know how to deal right now.